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the most visually stunning awful movie I have ever seen
Well, bear in mind I haven't seen Avatar.
So I saw Tron today. I wouldn't have bothered but my friends wanted to go and I haven't hung out with them in a while because I am a hermit, so I went.
Some people in yesterday's ontd_startrek party post said it was really good. I don't know what they were smoking but goddamn, whatever it was there must have been a lot of it. Because Tron is pretty to look at but is in all other respects laughably awful. I was sitting there in the theater trying to come up with the perfect phrase including the word "turdpile" to describe it here. The whole thing just reeked of trying too hard. It wanted so badly to be the next The Matrix. It wasn't. Ohh, how it wasn't.
I get that movies don't have such a good track record with accurately depicting how computers work but the part where the hero's first attempt at guessing the login info failed so he said out loud, despite being alone in the room, "alright, how about the back door?" AND HE LITERALLY TYPED "BACKDOOR" INTO THE COMMAND LINE. Shockingly, this didn't work so he mashed the keyboard for a few more seconds while the camera conveniently didn't show what he was typing and then he managed to turn on the magic laser that transported him bodily into The Grid. Where it turns out people still need to eat and sleep? Do the programs (represented by attractive people in skintight jumpsuits who walk around and go to bars after work I'M NOT KIDDING) also need to eat and sleep? What kind of shitty Matrix is this?
Also it was really, really predictable. Rinzler is really Tron, waaaaaaat? I only figured that out about five seconds after he first appeared onscreen. I spent the first five seconds thinking "oh, it's the Trinity girl, there'll be this big reveal where the guy who just kicked the hero's ass is *record scratch* A GIRL?" But then I got a better look and was all "no, it's a man. OK, so it's the original Tron, then." When they did reveal Rinzler's identity about an hour and a quarter into the movie, I actually said "DUH-UHH!" out loud.
I did equally well figuring out that Clu wasn't really his father and thatTrinity Cora Quorn? Quorra, apparently? is an "Iso." By the way, the practice of taking two techy-sounding words and smooshing them together because it sounds cool? Doesn't work so well when it's a real thing and it doesn't mean what the writers think it means.
OH MY GOD the annoying guy who's supposed to be the comic relief? And it just kind of sucks and gives you major second-hand embarrassment for the poor actor who's obviously just doing his best with the painfully awkward material? And you'd think his name would be spelled "Zeus" but it's actually Zuse because the writers can't even spell? HE'S WESLEY ON 30 ROCK. That's awesome.
In conclusion, this movie would have been a lot more enjoyable if I'd been drunk and watching it at home where we could all yell at the screen.
So I saw Tron today. I wouldn't have bothered but my friends wanted to go and I haven't hung out with them in a while because I am a hermit, so I went.
Some people in yesterday's ontd_startrek party post said it was really good. I don't know what they were smoking but goddamn, whatever it was there must have been a lot of it. Because Tron is pretty to look at but is in all other respects laughably awful. I was sitting there in the theater trying to come up with the perfect phrase including the word "turdpile" to describe it here. The whole thing just reeked of trying too hard. It wanted so badly to be the next The Matrix. It wasn't. Ohh, how it wasn't.
I get that movies don't have such a good track record with accurately depicting how computers work but the part where the hero's first attempt at guessing the login info failed so he said out loud, despite being alone in the room, "alright, how about the back door?" AND HE LITERALLY TYPED "BACKDOOR" INTO THE COMMAND LINE. Shockingly, this didn't work so he mashed the keyboard for a few more seconds while the camera conveniently didn't show what he was typing and then he managed to turn on the magic laser that transported him bodily into The Grid. Where it turns out people still need to eat and sleep? Do the programs (represented by attractive people in skintight jumpsuits who walk around and go to bars after work I'M NOT KIDDING) also need to eat and sleep? What kind of shitty Matrix is this?
Also it was really, really predictable. Rinzler is really Tron, waaaaaaat? I only figured that out about five seconds after he first appeared onscreen. I spent the first five seconds thinking "oh, it's the Trinity girl, there'll be this big reveal where the guy who just kicked the hero's ass is *record scratch* A GIRL?" But then I got a better look and was all "no, it's a man. OK, so it's the original Tron, then." When they did reveal Rinzler's identity about an hour and a quarter into the movie, I actually said "DUH-UHH!" out loud.
I did equally well figuring out that Clu wasn't really his father and that
OH MY GOD the annoying guy who's supposed to be the comic relief? And it just kind of sucks and gives you major second-hand embarrassment for the poor actor who's obviously just doing his best with the painfully awkward material? And you'd think his name would be spelled "Zeus" but it's actually Zuse because the writers can't even spell? HE'S WESLEY ON 30 ROCK. That's awesome.
In conclusion, this movie would have been a lot more enjoyable if I'd been drunk and watching it at home where we could all yell at the screen.