here's a poll

I think my entries have been a little boring lately so here's a poll because something interactive is more interesting. ...I can't even think of an amusing way to introduce the poll. It doesn't help when I spend Saturday working and Sunday eating, napping and then reading a 300-odd page book in one sitting. So here's the poll:

[Poll #398318]

as if I weren't already pissed off enough

Someone left the following in my guestbook:

Date entered: 11/28/2004
Name: Samantha
Location:
E-Mail:
URL:
Favorite monkey: Cartoon Monkeys
Comments: What the heck is this site?! I wanted something about monkeys and got garbage!!!!!

Since, as usual, the cowardly, punctuation abusing flamer fails to include an e-mail address, I'll just have to respond here.

Dear Samantha,

First of all, thank you for taking the time out of your busy monkey-seeking schedule to criticize a site in which you had no interest in the first place. Second, if you were looking for monkeys, how the hell did you come across my site? I did a Google search for "monkeys" and I gave up looking after the 12th page of links but my site wasn't on there. Same result for "monkey" and for both words on Yahoo. But maybe you have some kind of sick monkey obsession and you've already seen the hundreds of sites that come up before mine. Maybe you're a furry; that's none of my business. But I fail to see how it's my fault that you came to my site expecting to find wall-to-wall hot monkey action. Third, my site does, actually, feature a fair number of references to and pictures of monkeys, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and let's not forget the cartoon monkeys right at the top of every fucking page. We at piratemonkeysinc.com value your feedback and regret that we were unable to meet your needs, due to the fact that you are a moron. We look forward to hearing the news of your rectifying this problem by killing yourself.

Sincerely,

GMonkey
Pirate Monkeys, Inc.