Every morning, I go to Safeway to get my breakfast, because it's right near where I work. This morning, I saw on the cover of some tabloid at the checkstand: "GAY ALIENS FOUND IN UFO WRECK." And there was a picture of two alien skeletons having buttsex. My first thought was "cool. Gay aliens." But then I thought: do we really know enought about alien morphology to be able to sex-type the skeletons? What if it's just two straight aliens? That would be disappointing. And then I thought if they weren't so busy having sex, maybe they wouldn't have crashed their ship. Stupid aliens.